Parental Alienation Definition

Parental alienation occurs when one parent systematically isolates a child from the other parent. This alienation can manifest through various tactics, including:

• Negative campaigning: One parent actively speaks ill of the other parent, undermining their character and creating a negative image in the child's mind.
• Triangulation: The alienating parent involves the child in their conflict with the other parent, making them feel obligated to choose sides or take their side.
• Denial of access: The alienating parent may restrict or prevent the child's contact with the other parent, hindering their relationship.
• Emotional manipulation: The alienating parent may use emotional manipulation to control the child's feelings and loyalty towards the other parent.

Below, we discuss how this behavior can impact children and how evidence of alienation can impact initial custody petitions as well as modification cases.

How Parental Alienation Impacts Children

Parental alienation can have devastating psychological effects on children, often leading to long-lasting emotional trauma and damaged family relationships. When one parent systematically attempts to damage their child's relationship with the other parent, it can create deep-seated conflicts in the child's emotional development and sense of identity and can impact their general well-being.

In severe cases, children may develop what mental health professionals refer to as parental alienation syndrome (PAS), a psychological condition where a child strongly aligns with one parent while rejecting the other parent without legitimate justification.

Signs of parental alienation syndrome include the following:

1. Enacting a denigration campaign: The child engages in a persistent campaign of denigration against the targeted parent, often expressing hatred or extreme dislike without valid reasons. The child's criticism may be relentless and disproportionate, going far beyond any actual negative experiences they may have had with the targeted parent. This hatred often appears rehearsed and includes language that seems borrowed from adults.
2. Making weak or absurd behavior rationalization: Children affected by PAS frequently justify their rejection of the targeted parent with trivial, irrational, or absurd explanations. They might cite minor incidents from years ago or complain about ordinary parental behaviors, such as being asked to do homework or go to bed at a reasonable time. These rationalizations often don't match the intensity of their negative feelings.
3. Avoiding placing blame on the alienating parent: The child adamantly claims that their decision to reject the targeted parent is entirely their own, strongly denying any influence from the alienating parent. They insist on being independent thinkers despite clear evidence that their beliefs and behaviors are shaped by the alienating parent. This "independent thinking" is frequently emphasized and appears rehearsed.
4. Having a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent: The child demonstrates an unusual lack of normal ambivalence about the alienating parent, viewing them as completely perfect and ideal. They show no mixed feelings or recognition of any flaws in the alienating parent, which is unnatural as healthy parent-child relationships typically include both positive and negative feelings.
5. Offer reflexive support for the alienating parent: The child automatically and instinctively takes the alienating parent's side in any conflict, regardless of how unreasonable their position might be and even in situations they haven't personally witnessed or experienced.
6. Lacking guilt for actions against targeted parent: Children with PAS show a striking absence of guilt about their cruel or rejecting behavior toward the targeted parent. They appear completely unaffected by the targeted parent's hurt feelings and may even take pleasure in causing them pain. This absence of empathy often extends to rejecting gifts, ignoring special occasions, and showing no gratitude for past care or support.
7. Mentioning borrowed scenarios: The child recounts events or situations they couldn't have witnessed or remembered, often using adult language or expressions that are clearly borrowed from the alienating parent. These scenarios might include events that occurred before their birth or when they were too young to remember, yet they describe them with suspicious certainty and detail.
8. Rejecting extended family: The child's rejection typically extends beyond the targeted parent to include that parent's entire extended family, even when they previously had loving relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. This wholesale rejection occurs without justification and often happens suddenly, cutting off previously cherished relationships with extended family members who are now viewed as guilty by association.

Judges’ View on Parental Alienation: Can a Parent Lose Custody?

Courts take parental alienation very seriously and may impose significant consequences on parents who engage in alienating behaviors. Depending on the severity and persistence of the alienation, an alienating parent can face a spectrum of legal repercussions affecting their custody rights.

These consequences often escalate progressively, beginning with a reduction in parenting time or mandatory co-parenting counseling. In more serious cases, the court may require supervised visitation to monitor the alienating parent's behavior and protect the child from further psychological harm. If alienation continues despite court intervention, the alienating parent may lose custody entirely, with primary custody being awarded to the targeted parent to repair the damaged relationship and protect the child's emotional well-being.

Contact the The Law Offices of Andrea Schneider

Attorney Schneider has been guiding clients and their families through family law cases, including custodial matters, since 1992. If you suspect your child’s other parent of alienating you, having over 30 years of legal experience on your side is in your best interest.

Get help handling parental alienation and custody cases. Call (619) 304-8499 to schedule an initial consultation.